Today my babygirl turns 18 months old. It is so hard to believe that we have gotten this far so quickly.

Anna Kate,

Today you turn 18 months old. You are a JOY! You bring so much joy to me and our family. I couldn’t imagine not seeing your bright and shining face every morning. You are growing up too fast for me. You are no longer that 6lbs 15 oz baby that I first held 18 months ago. However, you do still have a need to be held by mommy or daddy most of the day…every day.

You are a talker. I mean, one serious talker. We thought Jake was a talker at this age, but you can talk circles around him. You say things that amaze me. It’s not just what you say but is HOW you say specific things. You say it sass and attitude that is so unbelievablely cute.

You love your brothers. You want to be everywhere the “boys” are all the time. If they go outside, you stand at the door and cry saying “outside, outside.” You are a rough and tumble little girl always wrestling with the boys and trying to do exactly what they are doing.

Speaking of boys, there isn’t a boy in the world that you love more than you daddy. He is the greatest and there is nothing like that look on your face when you are running to your Daddy’s arms screaming, “Daddy, Daddy, Daddy.” One of your favorite things to do with Daddy is SING. He will sit you in his lap facing him and sing, Joy, Joy, Joy, Jesus Loves Me, or B-I-B-L-E. When he finishes you say “gin” for again, meaning you want him to sing again. If he starts to sing the wrong song, by that I mean not the one you want to hear, then you will continue to say gin gin until he sings the “right” song.

You have a fierce determination and you KNOW what you want and you are determined to get it. Since you can talk so well, you are able to communicate your needs and wants to everyone around. On the rare occasion, that you cannot communicate to us what you need or what you do have a flair for the dramatic and it is at that moment we just call you FEMALE.

This past week your favorite phrase is “no, no.” Thanks to your brothers for teaching you how to say it on the way to Georgia. You are learning so much so quickly. “I some” (I want some),”I know” ( I don’t know), wuv you (love you), be right back, dink peez, (drink please) are just a few of your favorite phrases.

You love to color, play with stickers, play-doh and pencils. You make homeschooling Jake difficult in so many ways. Like I mentioned earlier, I am always holding you and you want to be held while I am schooling Jake. I have finally decided to do school while you are napping.

You have become quite independent. Wanting to always feed yourself with a spoon and you must have a plate. But you don’t want to play independently.

After writing all of this to you I still don’t feel that I have adequately described your personality. It is so hard to put into words who YOU are: fun, energetic, sassy and sweet all wrapped up into one little girl. OUR LITTLE GIRL!

Anna Kate, you make my heart so full some days I think it might burst. You make me laugh, you make me happy, and sometimes you make me want to pull my hair out. This first 18 months has been an incredible journey and as we look forward to two I cannot even begin to imagine how much you will change and grow.

No, this isn’t about my behind or anyone else’s for that matter. As you can tell, I am really behind on my 365 project. I have the pictures but I just don’t have the time to update them. It makes me sad and overwhelmed when I see how many days behind I really am at this point. Do you think I am too far behind to catch up? Hopefully, I will get motivated very soon and then I won’t be behind any longer. How many times can I use the word behind in one post? Hopefully, my next post will not be discussing someone’s behind. Have a great day!

Before Jim and I moved to Tennessee we bonded with a wonderful family. It didn’t take us long to realize the five children in that family were the wonderful, godly, pleasant, respectful, humble and just plain exceptional. Most of them were teenagers and they were all a joy to be around. Every time we would see one of them our faces would light up not to mention Jake’s. The one thing Jim and I always discussed each time we left their home or spent time with them was how much Jeff and HeiDee enjoyed and delighted in children.

We knew that we wanted our house to mirror what we saw in the Bieber home. Of course, we realized that most of what we say was the work of the Lord through them.

Jim and I started asking them lots of questions. How did you do this? How did you rear such wonderful, amazing, motivated, and self-sacrificing teenagers? As we got to know them better they became our “parenting mentors,” as a matter of fact we still call them or email when we have parenting questions. As a matter of fact, I think I need to dial their number right now.:-)

Throughout our many talks one of the things they consistently told us was, “If you work REALLY, REALLY, hard training, disciplining and being proactive when they are little then you can enjoy them when they are older.”

Well today I was reading Proverbs 29:17

“Discipline your son, and he will give you rest; he will give delight to your heart.”

I was so excited when I read this verse. Here is the advice that we were receiving written in the Word. It was just confirmation once again that the young years are very hard

When the days are long and the diapers pile high remember it is all worth it and this season will be gone very soon.

Today is a day that I must remember that I WILL miss this season of “constant need.” I want so badly to be a great mom and I feel that I fail each and everyday. I am thankful for the grace of God and beginning of new days. I pray that the Lord is sowing the seeds and pulling the weeds that I plant in my children’s hearts everyday.

We have enjoyed another week of school. It has been a short week since it was Labor Day and we had a fun visit with my mom. She has not been hear since March so I was very happy to have her here for a few days.

We read and did activities with The Tale of Peter Rabbit by Beatrix Potter. We had fun reading about this disobedient rabbit. We also learned the Letter B and C. Jake has not really enjoyed handwriting but he is learning and I am learning patience. I have pretty high expectations but I am realizing that he needs to build up to writing a whole page. Duh!

The boys painted a picture using water color since Beatrix Potter used watercolor in her original illustrations of Peter Rabbit. (Don’t you just love the paint shirts. I have been using them since Jake was 15 months old. I love them and I never washed them. I plan to keep them forever.)

We start math assignments this week. I am excited to see how this week goes since it will be “normal.” Whatever normal means in this home.

Thanks Mema for coming and helping us this weekend.

Weeping may tarry for the night, but JOY comes with the morning. Psalm 30:5
Joy is my word for the year. I have experienced great joy in 2009.

There was great joy in our hearts on the morning of July 21, 2009. The two positive lines meant we were going to have another baby. This precious one would complete our family, be our caboose, our number 4. I waited a few days and took another test to confirm that those two lines did indeed mean we would be welcoming a new bundle of joy into our family in 40 weeks.
We were so excited. We determined that we would wait until after the first ultrasound to tell our family and friends that way Jake could be the one to tell everyone.

However, it didn’t take very long for me to begin to think, “something wasn’t right.” I knew that I ALWAYS get sick at week 5. Being sick at week 5 has been a nonnegotiable symptom with each of my pregnancies, except for the miscarriage preceding Judd. I was extremely tired and hungry but not sick. I tried to find joy in the fact that maybe I wouldn’t get sick this time, but still deep down knowing that I needed and wanted to be sick.

On August 21, Jim and I went to the doctor for our first ultrasound and visit. In just a few minutes, we saw a blob on the screen and tiny heartbeat. Upon seeing the heartbeat, the list of all the concerns started:

1. The heartbeat was a little slow for a 7-week baby. (91 beats per minute)
2. The baby was measuring 6 weeks 3 days instead of 7 weeks 2 days.
3. I was experiencing sac separation.
4. I had two cysts on my ovaries.

We talked to the doctor and she expressed her concerns and we expressed ours since we had already lost one baby and I felt that this would end in the same way. We made an appointment to have a repeat ultrasound in one week. From that moment, Jim and I were just a little lost. We felt like we didn’t have any answers and answers were what we wanted from this the appointment since I “hadn’t felt right” this entire time. We just left with more questions.

For a week, we prayed that when we went back we would have very clear answers. I was very confused all week because I still felt tired and hungry. I didn’t understand why I had to feel this way if this baby was not going to live and then Thursday morning brought clarity. I woke Thursday morning with a confirmation in my spirit that the pregnancy had ended and that when we went back there would not be a heartbeat. I was not sick or tired all day. I felt completely “normal.” I was very emotional but also I rejoiced that the Lord allowed to me know and sense this before the ultrasound. I needed a day to “prepare” for the ultrasound.

On August 28, we went back for a follow-up ultrasound. The ultrasound confirmed what we already knew. There was no heartbeat. This precious baby had gone into the arms of Jesus before us.

On August 31, I went to the hospital for outpatient surgery. Now we focus on the future, healing, and finding normal once again.

During this time and all the time:

• I find joy in the fact that this little one will never have to experience the tears and suffering of this world.
• I find joy in knowing that this baby is in the arms of Jesus.
• I find joy in three precious babies that God has entrusted to Jim and me.
• I find joy in suffering.
• I find joy in waiting.
• I find joy in knowing He is faithful.
• I find joy in knowing that the steps of a man are established by the Lord…
• I find joy in knowing that I have a God who saves.
• I find joy in Jesus.

Our first week of school started this week. We studied the letter A, read How to Make Apple Pie and See the World, apple painting, visited an apple orchard and made homemade apple pie. It was a busy week but a lot of fun. I am excited about this school year.

Apple Painting

Anna Kate did not think apple painting was fun!

Apple Orchard Field Trip

Good morning world…

Actually let me start around 1:00 yesterday afternoon.

I am sitting outside with Anna Kate reading the mail when Jake comes banging on the door..MOM!!!! Hurry Judd went to the bathroom on the floor. I take off running.

Poor Judd had been complaining that his belly hurt so I wasn’t surprised to see that he didn’t quite make it to the potty to “release his lunch.” He was able to get his clothes off but didn’t make it on top of the potty. He was very upset that he made a mess! I walk in the help him and clean up and I hear Jake behind me gagging. I tell him “go to your room, buddy.” I didn’t want him throwing up while I was cleaning Judd’s mess.

Ok, back to this morning….

I am brushing my teeth. Judd came in my room and said, “Anna Kate went potty on the floor.” I said “no she didn’t she has a diaper on.” Jake said OHHHH YESSSS SHE DID!” I am thinking, what are they talking about? I look at her and she has a diaper on and she is clean.??? hummmmmmm

Well, I tell the boys to go brush their teeth and I walk behind them to go check out Anna’s mess. GUESS WHAT? I had forgotten to throw her dirty diaper away so she decided to open it up and dump it on the floor. I just start cleaning it up and all the sudden I hear gag, gag, splat. Yes, Jake threw up on the floor after seeing Anna Kate’s dirtiness on the floor. At this moment, I just start laughing. Jake starts saying,”Why did that make me throw up?”

How has poop defined my life for the last two days?

This year we have decided to homeschool Jake for his pre-k year. He is very excited about learning and we decided that he was ready to begin some systematic instruction with him. We are partnering with a Veritas Classical Schools in the area. Our original plan was for him to go to class one day a week and homeschool the rest of the week. Our plans did not work out so well but we are receiving weekly lesson plans from his teacher so that helps me a lot.

Monday was out first day of school and we had a great time. Judd did a lot of the activities with us and I was very impressed with both of them. Today went well but Jake has been running a fever so we did not get to everything I had planned but that is ok.

I will update with pictures soon.

We first arrived in Georgia late July 2. The next day we had some good friends come to visit. Angie Kudlas brought her three kids to Jim’s parents house to swim after lunch. It was fun to catch up and see all of her babies. Later that afternoon, Jason, Kelli, and Eli Sikes came to visit. We had dinner and they stayed the night.

I am slowly marking things off of my list. I am excited to see so many lines crossed through. I am still trying to decorate the playroom, dining room, and the living room. This is a slow process. I just hope it is finished soon.

1. Memorize 24 verses (2 each month)
2. Run Peachtree Road Race in Atlanta on July 4th
3. Read the following books

• The Heavenly Man
• 90 Minutes in Heaven
• Disciples of a Godly Family
• There’s Gotta Be MORE!
• Love and Respect
• Don’t Make Me Count to Three
• One Thing You Can’t Do In Heaven

5. Complete a Home Management Folder
6. Paint and Decorate the Playroom
7. Decorate the Living Room
8. Facilitate a Bible Study
10. Do a self-guided study through the Book of Proverbs